Day 24: Christmas Eve Capers

Christmas Eve Capers, by me

’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…

The rats, on the other hand, were active and thronging
And sniffing out some festive turkey with longing:
Said their boss, “Come on, lads! Let us not be abstractive!
If we want us that bird then we must be proactive –
I’ve got a plan,” and with their rat-brains together
They concocted a cunning, ingenious measure.

The fridge door was opened, the turkey within,
And at last the sly rats’ Christmas feast could begin.
But as they scampered off, one keen pup took a bite,
And tasted – was that kale? – something just wasn’t right;
With horror, “That’s not meat! What kind of barbarian—?
Oh no… These folk – they must be vegetarian!”

— me

I wrote this a few years ago and thought I’d share it here, after a few refinements. Funnily enough, this wasn’t inspired by the multiple mousefestations I’ve had to deal with recently in Edinburgh as I came up with it before any of that happened. I’m glad to say that (touch wood) they seem to be staying away for now, and they’ve never made it into the fridge (although they once managed to leave droppings in the lamp shades of both our living room lights, much to my confusion. How? And why?).

Merry Christmas and, since you’ve made it this far, thanks for indulging me.

Featured Image: I did a mouse-themed advent calendar last year where the image on the right was revealed piece-by-piece – this was the only appropriate rodent-themed image I could find for today (the others were mostly of either mouse droppings or real, deceased mice).